Oh lookie, twice in one day! This is some kind of record, yay woo!
Anyway, the reason I’m posting twice is because a friend just posted this little gem on Facebook, to which I responded, “I’m gonna go through some of my novels/short stories and replace the word ‘love’ with ‘debt’.”
Someone did the same many years ago, imploring Harry Potter readers (like Yours Truly) to replace the word wand with willy… Instant fun! So, when my friend implored me to do it, I just couldn’t resist!
(the following are from short stories and poetry I wrote, in which I replaced the word love with debt; questionable language and copious profanity to follow)
“Surely, debt was too strong a word for what they’d shared, ten years later.”
(i agree; i want a divorce)
“Prior to meeting at the theatre company, they’d both suffered broken hearts and a run of bad relationships, but their debt had healed them both.”
(because fuck logic, lol)
“She was engaged to another man, probably the first sign that they never should have blurred the line between friends and debtors.”
(makes sense, since people hate their creditors)
“The particular turn of phrase struck her as odd— surely someone as cold and callous as he wasn’t capable of something like debt.”
(well, he obviously was; that’s why he’s cold and callous)
“His debt for her crippled him.”
(that’s why you get a prenup, dumbass)
“I am but a man— flawed, weak, tormented by the compelling beauty of true debt.”
(someone give this man a shake; he’s clearly fucked on acid)
“So long she had waited, to walk away from this place, yet he denied her even her most-basic rights. How was that debt?”
(this woman is obviously in therapy with the guy above)
“This clearly disproved any notions she’d had about his ability to feel human emotions, like remorse and rage… and debt.”.
(so it’s a feeling, too? i daresay dr. phil is gonna have a field day with this one)
“I’m going to prove the power of debt, and I’m going to do it alone.”
(you’re doing it now, you idiot)
“Their debt was such a beautiful, twisted thing, and that’s how I knew that it had to be him who did it.”
(sounds like someone’s having a midlife crisis)
“But debt just makes people crazy like that, I suppose.”
(first logical observation all day)
“He knew how much they disliked him— they’d made that more than clear, thrown them out of the house, for being in debt.”
(helpful parents are helpful)
“Both of you could have been killed, but perhaps he doesn’t regret the stupid things he did for debt, either.”
(seems legit)
“He was a ruthless and very-powerful man, but his power pales in comparison to debt.”
(plot twist: he worked for equifax)
“Some even called it the wedding of the century. But, for her, it was just a celebration of debt.”
(sounds about right)
–
Well, that’s quite enough silliness from me for one night! Have fun, and feel free to add your own in the comments.:)
The Write Place 