So I suck at posting regularly. Congrats to me.
In any case, I’m going to try and make a habit of this. I miss writing so much and, if I am ever to have a literary career, it seems only ‘write’ (pun totally intended) that I actually do something productive.
It’s another snowy day here in Moncton. Whoever pissed off Queen Elsa seriously needs to stop, because it’s become a logistical nightmare. We’re already out of space; where are we going to put it? And, on top of that, my weekly Dungeons & Dragons night has been cancelled for, like, the 4th week in a row; it feels like this winter has dragged on and on, like it won’t ever end… which brings me to this crappy poem.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I absolutely adore Frozen. The music is great, the characters realistic, and the story well-adapted to a modern audience. Hell, I even sided with Elsa’s dad and the whole conceal-don’t-feel schtick, since it fit me so well. However, there’s more to it than that.
I wrote this many, many moons ago, after ending a relationship that meant a lot to me. For that reason, I understood what eternal winter was, long before Arendelle or mutant snowmen. Before Elsa belted out her infamous chorus, there was just me and my frozen heart.
The winter has come,
and frost settles upon this land.
But no one knows
that the greatest cold of all
is deep inside the heart
of the one you loved.
I keep a box
full of your memory
In the depths of my mind.
And, even if it was nothing to you,
I meant it
when I said forever.
You will always be
in the back of my head.
And your sweet voice,
it haunts my dreams;
haven’t slept since you left-
such a long time, my love.
No drink
can put you in the past-
no miracle drug
to wipe you out,
for a year of my life
is such a long time to erase,
my love.
And I know,
deep inside
that the pain will never end.
How sad, though true,
that my first love
be my last.
For the sounds
of the church bells
on Sunday mornings
serve to remind me
of loss and bitterness,
and I wish,
with all my heart,
that the flowers
would die faster.
Anything, everything,
reminds me of you-
my favourite song,
the wind in my hair,
and every word
I ever penned
for you, and you alone,
my love.
But one day, love,
I will remember
the song in my heart-
the fire in my soul-
and not the poisoned words
you left me with.
For this love
knows no bounds,
though I am on my own.
Ashes to dust
and lovers to friends,
for I know
that fate will never
bring you back to me.
But trust me when I say
that I am sorry,
for you will never know
a love so steadfast and true;
so pure, so real-
so powerful as mine.
The winter has gone
and the ice gives way to green.
But no one knows
that, deep inside the heart
of the one you loved,
it is winter, all year long.
Obviously, some half-decent poetry was all I got out of that relationship. I was young and vulnerable (and a complete idiot) but, though I have since moved on, I still like this piece for its honesty. Sure, the guy was a jerk, and he wasn’t worth all the tears… but I look back on poems like these and I know, to this day, that what I felt was real.
For 10 years, I masqueraded as Queen Elsa: I kept everything inside and lied about my feelings, afraid that people would abandon me if I told them the truth. It took me a long time to realize that, if I was ever going to feel that way again, then I had to be receptive to it and stop shutting people out (I’m still learning).
Thankfully, I grew a pair, and I found someone who is worthy of me and my words. Ever since he came into my life, I’ve learned how love can thaw even the most frozen of hearts and, to quote Olaf, that “some people are worth melting for”.
Stay toasty, friends!
-El Veeb
The Write Place 